HELLO, I'M INTELLIGENT, EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT!
“Rabbit’s clever,” said Pooh thoughtfully.
“Yes,” said Piglet, “Rabbit’s clever.”
“And he has Brain.”
“Yes,” said Piglet, “Rabbit has Brain.”
There was a long silence.
“I suppose,” said Pooh, “that that’s why he never understands anything.”
(“Winnie-the-Pooh”, A.A.Milne)
Wouldn’t it be absolutely awesome to be cool like Bond each and every time trouble hits us?! However, whilst being completely honest with oneself, then have you had situations in your life when your brain shouts at your heart: „Thanks for making me a complete idiot (YET ONCE AGAIN)?!“. I must admit that I have had such moments...a couple of times...ok, quite a few times actually. However, when asking myself whether I am more of a heart (i.e. emotional) or rational mind individual, then this one is easy to answer: I am more of the latter than someone who is easily led by emotions (for instance, I do not rip papers apart, stamp my feet nor throw around dishes!), yet emotions play a very important role in my life, and also whilst making extremely rational decisions. Hence: being totally into the subject of „brain and/or emotions“, I decided to crawl deeper underneath our skins and dig deeper in our insides: how do emotions actually influence us and our success in life, and what is the co-operation based on the synergy of brain and emotions all about? The answer is: be intelligent, emotionally!
Let’s operate then!
Whilst emotions are often associated with heart (you know all this pink fluff of emotions!), then in reality it still all comes down to brain. Yes, also emotions are born as well as occur in this mighty organ! I have no intention whatsoever to stop on the clinical neuroscientific aspect of brain – I also have no competence for that!-, but in order to better understand what distinguishes us from the rest of the animal world, then I hereby share with you a very simple overview of the evolutional development of human brain and its impact on us.
So: the oldest part of our brain has an ultra glam name – reptilian brain. The key phrase of this brain part is fight or flight. It is described by kinaesthetic or bodily knowledge, e.g. hunger pain in our belly, yawning to let us know we are tired, and it also controls our heart rhythm, breathing as well as body temperature. The focus of the reptilian brain is to ensure our physical safety and survival.
The 50 million year old limbic or mammal brain’s assignment is to ensure our emotional safety. Here are recorded behavioural memories that create in us an understanding of what we consider as acceptable and what not. Limbic brain is the center of our value system which we also subconsciously apply, and that has a significant impact on our behaviour.
The newest part of our brain that makes us different from all other mammals is called neocortex. This part of the brain is visual, creative, allows making abstract pictures, and focuses on future. Besides creativity, neocortex is all about our capability to discover the new, it stands for our potential, and innovation. This is the very „magic box“ where one’ s mental growth and learning takes place. This part of the brain is language-based (just a little reminder that language is only 200 000 years old or should I rather say young?!) that allows us to direct our attention on our strengths, created possibilities, and generation of new ideas.
This is where our brain development stands today, however it is very unlikely that this is the end of it. Gosh, I do love evolution! But let’s put now all the scalpels, tweezers, and whatever other surgical instruments down in order to stitch brain together and move on – still with the subject of emotions and their connection with brain.
Oh those emotions, those emotions....
We frequently associate emotions with something that may make us look weak and vulnerable. Also, often the thought of getting in touch with an emotional person triggers a reaction of „naah, rather not, thanks!“ in us. How can emotionality and intelligence function as a symbiosis? As it appears, then they can and - oh boy!- how well they can. Figuratively, it is as if we have two different brains, and therefore also two different intelligences: rational and emotional with both of them playing a significant part in our success. When in reality traditional intellect and emotional intelligence are two completetely independent competences (that mix), then what do emotions still do to our brain? Namely, in our brain is nested an almond-shaped amygdala which is the expert of emotions! Or in other words: when amygdala is damaged or removed from brain altogether, then we are emotionally blind; we lack of any interest for people as well as human contact; we are not capabale of sensing nor having any feelings. In case of impulsive emotions, then amygdala has a central role in this process: the checking of signals reaching our brain are carried out here in order to ensure whether this SOMETHING or SOMEONE is a threat to us or causing us a potential issue. „Is it something I hate?“, „Will it hurt me?“, „Should I be scared of it?“ – these are all the questions that go through our brain’s so-called checkpoint prior any occurrence of emotions. And should the answers to the previous questions happen to be „yes“, then amygdala sends a crisis message to all parts of our brain, and will be then waiting for the „police“, „fire brigade“ or „ambulance“ to react.
Emotional intelligence is sexy and sexy sells!
When still during the last century the formula of intelligence was considered to be a certain IQ score, then as a result of several researches it has been concluded that academic intelligence on its own is no guarantee whatsoever for a predictable success story (whether it would be then wealth, prestige or some other form of happiness!). As Daniel Goleman, the American psychologist and promoter of the emotional intelligence concept, has pointed out, then „many people with an IQ of 160 work for people with an IQ of 100 when the initial have little relationship-based intelligence and latter have high competence in it“. There is no link whatsoever between IQ test’s score and emotional intelligence nor can it be said that the so-called traditionally clever individual is automatically also emotionally intelligent. However, it can be said that intelligence is a birth-related ability to learn whilst emotional intelligence is not „injected“ in us with breastmilk, and it is a competence luggage that must be developed with conscious as well as persistent practice. So what does a 21st century successful, emotionally intelligent individual who is considered equally „sexy“ on the job market and in personal relationships look like? Mr Goleman has defined them as possessing the following:
Comedy or tragedy?
Having dealt with this very subject already for quite some time and seeing myself surronded by successful as well as even more successful individuals, then I cannot completely agree with the British art historian Horace Walpole’s quotation that „the world is a comedy for those who think and tragedy for those who feel“. At the end of the day we are successful when finding a healthy balance between the „black and white“: seeing the world, understanding, and sensing it could rather be considered a good drama which includes both „thinking with the rational head and feeling with the loving heart“. Well, at least in case of and for the emotionally intelligent.
“Yes,” said Piglet, “Rabbit’s clever.”
“And he has Brain.”
“Yes,” said Piglet, “Rabbit has Brain.”
There was a long silence.
“I suppose,” said Pooh, “that that’s why he never understands anything.”
(“Winnie-the-Pooh”, A.A.Milne)
Wouldn’t it be absolutely awesome to be cool like Bond each and every time trouble hits us?! However, whilst being completely honest with oneself, then have you had situations in your life when your brain shouts at your heart: „Thanks for making me a complete idiot (YET ONCE AGAIN)?!“. I must admit that I have had such moments...a couple of times...ok, quite a few times actually. However, when asking myself whether I am more of a heart (i.e. emotional) or rational mind individual, then this one is easy to answer: I am more of the latter than someone who is easily led by emotions (for instance, I do not rip papers apart, stamp my feet nor throw around dishes!), yet emotions play a very important role in my life, and also whilst making extremely rational decisions. Hence: being totally into the subject of „brain and/or emotions“, I decided to crawl deeper underneath our skins and dig deeper in our insides: how do emotions actually influence us and our success in life, and what is the co-operation based on the synergy of brain and emotions all about? The answer is: be intelligent, emotionally!
Let’s operate then!
Whilst emotions are often associated with heart (you know all this pink fluff of emotions!), then in reality it still all comes down to brain. Yes, also emotions are born as well as occur in this mighty organ! I have no intention whatsoever to stop on the clinical neuroscientific aspect of brain – I also have no competence for that!-, but in order to better understand what distinguishes us from the rest of the animal world, then I hereby share with you a very simple overview of the evolutional development of human brain and its impact on us.
So: the oldest part of our brain has an ultra glam name – reptilian brain. The key phrase of this brain part is fight or flight. It is described by kinaesthetic or bodily knowledge, e.g. hunger pain in our belly, yawning to let us know we are tired, and it also controls our heart rhythm, breathing as well as body temperature. The focus of the reptilian brain is to ensure our physical safety and survival.
The 50 million year old limbic or mammal brain’s assignment is to ensure our emotional safety. Here are recorded behavioural memories that create in us an understanding of what we consider as acceptable and what not. Limbic brain is the center of our value system which we also subconsciously apply, and that has a significant impact on our behaviour.
The newest part of our brain that makes us different from all other mammals is called neocortex. This part of the brain is visual, creative, allows making abstract pictures, and focuses on future. Besides creativity, neocortex is all about our capability to discover the new, it stands for our potential, and innovation. This is the very „magic box“ where one’ s mental growth and learning takes place. This part of the brain is language-based (just a little reminder that language is only 200 000 years old or should I rather say young?!) that allows us to direct our attention on our strengths, created possibilities, and generation of new ideas.
This is where our brain development stands today, however it is very unlikely that this is the end of it. Gosh, I do love evolution! But let’s put now all the scalpels, tweezers, and whatever other surgical instruments down in order to stitch brain together and move on – still with the subject of emotions and their connection with brain.
Oh those emotions, those emotions....
We frequently associate emotions with something that may make us look weak and vulnerable. Also, often the thought of getting in touch with an emotional person triggers a reaction of „naah, rather not, thanks!“ in us. How can emotionality and intelligence function as a symbiosis? As it appears, then they can and - oh boy!- how well they can. Figuratively, it is as if we have two different brains, and therefore also two different intelligences: rational and emotional with both of them playing a significant part in our success. When in reality traditional intellect and emotional intelligence are two completetely independent competences (that mix), then what do emotions still do to our brain? Namely, in our brain is nested an almond-shaped amygdala which is the expert of emotions! Or in other words: when amygdala is damaged or removed from brain altogether, then we are emotionally blind; we lack of any interest for people as well as human contact; we are not capabale of sensing nor having any feelings. In case of impulsive emotions, then amygdala has a central role in this process: the checking of signals reaching our brain are carried out here in order to ensure whether this SOMETHING or SOMEONE is a threat to us or causing us a potential issue. „Is it something I hate?“, „Will it hurt me?“, „Should I be scared of it?“ – these are all the questions that go through our brain’s so-called checkpoint prior any occurrence of emotions. And should the answers to the previous questions happen to be „yes“, then amygdala sends a crisis message to all parts of our brain, and will be then waiting for the „police“, „fire brigade“ or „ambulance“ to react.
Emotional intelligence is sexy and sexy sells!
When still during the last century the formula of intelligence was considered to be a certain IQ score, then as a result of several researches it has been concluded that academic intelligence on its own is no guarantee whatsoever for a predictable success story (whether it would be then wealth, prestige or some other form of happiness!). As Daniel Goleman, the American psychologist and promoter of the emotional intelligence concept, has pointed out, then „many people with an IQ of 160 work for people with an IQ of 100 when the initial have little relationship-based intelligence and latter have high competence in it“. There is no link whatsoever between IQ test’s score and emotional intelligence nor can it be said that the so-called traditionally clever individual is automatically also emotionally intelligent. However, it can be said that intelligence is a birth-related ability to learn whilst emotional intelligence is not „injected“ in us with breastmilk, and it is a competence luggage that must be developed with conscious as well as persistent practice. So what does a 21st century successful, emotionally intelligent individual who is considered equally „sexy“ on the job market and in personal relationships look like? Mr Goleman has defined them as possessing the following:
- Self-awareness: such individual has an honest „picture“ of oneself; they have an ability to identify their own emotions as well as their occurrence. At the same time, they are self-confident enough to be able to control the emotions arising in them. They are fully aware of their strengths as well as shortages, and they are consciously working on the latter in order to ensure constant growth and becoming an even better (i.e. also successful) individual;
- Self-regulation: by being aware of one's emotions, such a person can manage their behaviour in a way that has a positive impact on themselves as well as the people surrounding them. They are not impulsive in their behaviour and they think before they say something out loud or act in a way that is dominated only by emotions. They are excellent in understanding the potentially destructive results of such behaviour and they do not allow their actions to be run purely by emotions!;
- Motivation: such individual has a clear internal motivation and they know full well how to make themselves „tick“. As a result of it, they act purposefully, effectively, and enjoy challenges;
- Empathy: such individual can identify and understand other people’ s needs, expectations, perspectives, and feelings, even when these are not visible to the naked eye. It is easy for them to „step in other person’s shoes“ which is why they are successful in building as well as maintaining relationships. Also, they are excellent listeners;
- Social skill: it is generally very easy to make contact with such a person, open up to them, and trust them. They are team-players who do not prioritize their own success, but rather the development and accomplishments of others.
Comedy or tragedy?
Having dealt with this very subject already for quite some time and seeing myself surronded by successful as well as even more successful individuals, then I cannot completely agree with the British art historian Horace Walpole’s quotation that „the world is a comedy for those who think and tragedy for those who feel“. At the end of the day we are successful when finding a healthy balance between the „black and white“: seeing the world, understanding, and sensing it could rather be considered a good drama which includes both „thinking with the rational head and feeling with the loving heart“. Well, at least in case of and for the emotionally intelligent.