DID CURIOSITY KILL THE CAT?
Naah it didn't because, first of all, cats have nine lives (plenty enough to be curious) and, secondly, this well-known 19th century English saying also has a less known counter phrase according to which "...but satisfaction brought it back". Ok let the cat be, but curiosity aimed at learning and constant growth is definitely a positive, even essential quality in a success-minded leader's luggage. Exactly the same as powerful and correct questions.
WHO IS DATING WHO?
It is very true that such questions can kill the cat without bringing it back to life as well as finish off a leader's career. And this very much due to loss of respect because, let's be honest, how could sniffing around in someone's private matters bring along a growth of a leader, his people, and the whole organization?
The magic of powerful questions, however, lies within their ability to push the right buttons without any spiteful motive and manipulation. Their aim is to create success for the people as well as the organization. The response to why certain questions cause a wow-effect in us, whilst others are forgotten in a matter of seconds is hidden in the below mentioned golden five.
Powerful questions asked in a correct context and at the right time are those that:
- touch upon our values;
- allow via creativity, self-discovery, and deeper level of thinking break all (mental) blockages as well as turn anything impossible into possible;
- are open and not only limited to laconic "yes" or "no" answers;
- confirm our active listening and demonstrate via reflecting back our understanding of the other person;
- inspire to act and develop us as people.
Here are the nine powerful questions that a leader could ask from his people from time to time.
Why is it important for you?
This is without any doubt the number one powerful question since it doesn't only lightly touch upon one's values, but gets to them straight away. Is it really important for you? Is it something that makes your adrenaline rush and eyes shine brighter when thinking about it? Is it easy for you to answer this question as well as reason it? Does it change your life and you as well as has an impact on your nearest and dearest?
When it is easy to answer this question, it makes your internal fire burn passionately, creates a sense of "let's do it", and makes you as well as your life better, then this (baby blue) dream is very much achievable. Besides, for a leader such information is extremely important in order to establish a true bond with one's people, team, and company - values do not change in time, they shape us as human beings, and make us as well as the organization tick (read: act).
What do you think about it?
Leadership is all about finding a healthy balance between (self-)confidence and being humble. A leader knows well enough and admits without any embarrassment that he doesn't have all the answers, and he values the perspectives of others. The more he takes an interest in other people's opinions, the more they are willing to share it. The greatest and most awesome success stories are born in the synergy of honest information exchange.
How could we do it differently?
Exactly differently, because then it does not refer in any way as if things had not been done well so far. Maybe a new approach is necessary because the one used until now has simply become outdated? Also, when asking a "we"-question, a leader creates a clear understanding that we are in it together and support each other. Issues are not to be run away from, but to be embraced instead. In times of hardships, the priority is not to point fingers and finding someone to blame, but creating solutions and alternative ways - always together. And this question definitely helps to establish such an environment!
How can I support you (in achieving your set goals)?
Leadership is not about one-sidedly expressing one's wishes and expectations, but rather having a clear understanding what is expected from each other. A leader's job is to serve and support his people in order to accomplish the organization's mission. This question tells the employees that "I am here for you", and it is magically powerful!
What does a successful person, team or organization look like to you?
This question allows a person to detach oneself from a specific organization, team, and individual which again encourages one to describe (without directly criticising anything or anyone) what is working, motivating, and inspiring for them. Based on the received information, a leader can objectively assess how much of this dream is already ensured in the current environment, what are its pros and cons, as well as realistic improvement opportunities. It is also important to mention that this question does not make the person feel as if they are pushed in the corner.
What do people in our organization think and feel, but do not express?
Let me say that asking this question may not at all be relevant in a truly people-orientated and humane organization. However, when a leader asks it then it gives even more reassurance that it is allowed to speak up honestly and openly without later getting whipped for it. It demonstrates clearly that people's welfare is important for a leader; that speaking openly is ok; and different opinions can help us become even better.
What would you do (in this situation) if you were me?
A leader by no means feels that he is somehow more important, more clever or better due to his status. Vice versa, when asking this question, he shares his status as well as the responsibility coming with it. When giving others a chance to think themselves in a leader's "shoes", then this can be useful for two reasons: it gives a good opportunity to better understand what being a leader is all about; and this way the other person can offer valuable advice as well as possibly new, useful perspectives.
Why?
Simple, punchy, and short, however extremely powerful. This works wonders in an environment where it is not seen as an accusing "court inquiry", but rather a sincere showing of interest. I am truly interested why you think that? This question touches upon our values, makes people feel important, and encourages to share.
How are we going to achieve it?
When also adding here the word together, then this amplifies the sense of unity even more. We together and going to achieve already ensure the successful outcome (motivation is sky high, right?). This way a leader makes it clear that there are no organizational success stories without the involvement of people. Amen to that!
THIS LIBERATING UNKNOWN KNOWING!
Quite a few years ago I was facing a professional dilemma. My thoughts were between "well it sort of is, and then again it also isn't". I clearly remember the day when sharing my thoughts with my mentor and expecting him to give me the "right" answers. During yet another "I-do-not-know" moan, he asked me: "Katri, why is it all important for you?". Nobody had ever asked me that. Everything became clear in a heartbeat and the following words just slipped out of my mouth: "it is my passion, mission, and true calling". In utter amazement, I repeated it in a loud voice several times - what a liberating unknown knowing!
And where am I today as a result of this very critical question? I am a happy person whose life is filled with passion; who is on a mission of making the world a better place; and who has dedicated one's professional life to one's true calling - people.
Hence, in case of asking the correct questions, maybe having nine lives would be too much? Thank God we are not cats.
Article published in Estonian under the title of "Kas uudishimu tappis kassi?" in a leadership magazine Director (April 2017).
WHO IS DATING WHO?
It is very true that such questions can kill the cat without bringing it back to life as well as finish off a leader's career. And this very much due to loss of respect because, let's be honest, how could sniffing around in someone's private matters bring along a growth of a leader, his people, and the whole organization?
The magic of powerful questions, however, lies within their ability to push the right buttons without any spiteful motive and manipulation. Their aim is to create success for the people as well as the organization. The response to why certain questions cause a wow-effect in us, whilst others are forgotten in a matter of seconds is hidden in the below mentioned golden five.
Powerful questions asked in a correct context and at the right time are those that:
- touch upon our values;
- allow via creativity, self-discovery, and deeper level of thinking break all (mental) blockages as well as turn anything impossible into possible;
- are open and not only limited to laconic "yes" or "no" answers;
- confirm our active listening and demonstrate via reflecting back our understanding of the other person;
- inspire to act and develop us as people.
Here are the nine powerful questions that a leader could ask from his people from time to time.
Why is it important for you?
This is without any doubt the number one powerful question since it doesn't only lightly touch upon one's values, but gets to them straight away. Is it really important for you? Is it something that makes your adrenaline rush and eyes shine brighter when thinking about it? Is it easy for you to answer this question as well as reason it? Does it change your life and you as well as has an impact on your nearest and dearest?
When it is easy to answer this question, it makes your internal fire burn passionately, creates a sense of "let's do it", and makes you as well as your life better, then this (baby blue) dream is very much achievable. Besides, for a leader such information is extremely important in order to establish a true bond with one's people, team, and company - values do not change in time, they shape us as human beings, and make us as well as the organization tick (read: act).
What do you think about it?
Leadership is all about finding a healthy balance between (self-)confidence and being humble. A leader knows well enough and admits without any embarrassment that he doesn't have all the answers, and he values the perspectives of others. The more he takes an interest in other people's opinions, the more they are willing to share it. The greatest and most awesome success stories are born in the synergy of honest information exchange.
How could we do it differently?
Exactly differently, because then it does not refer in any way as if things had not been done well so far. Maybe a new approach is necessary because the one used until now has simply become outdated? Also, when asking a "we"-question, a leader creates a clear understanding that we are in it together and support each other. Issues are not to be run away from, but to be embraced instead. In times of hardships, the priority is not to point fingers and finding someone to blame, but creating solutions and alternative ways - always together. And this question definitely helps to establish such an environment!
How can I support you (in achieving your set goals)?
Leadership is not about one-sidedly expressing one's wishes and expectations, but rather having a clear understanding what is expected from each other. A leader's job is to serve and support his people in order to accomplish the organization's mission. This question tells the employees that "I am here for you", and it is magically powerful!
What does a successful person, team or organization look like to you?
This question allows a person to detach oneself from a specific organization, team, and individual which again encourages one to describe (without directly criticising anything or anyone) what is working, motivating, and inspiring for them. Based on the received information, a leader can objectively assess how much of this dream is already ensured in the current environment, what are its pros and cons, as well as realistic improvement opportunities. It is also important to mention that this question does not make the person feel as if they are pushed in the corner.
What do people in our organization think and feel, but do not express?
Let me say that asking this question may not at all be relevant in a truly people-orientated and humane organization. However, when a leader asks it then it gives even more reassurance that it is allowed to speak up honestly and openly without later getting whipped for it. It demonstrates clearly that people's welfare is important for a leader; that speaking openly is ok; and different opinions can help us become even better.
What would you do (in this situation) if you were me?
A leader by no means feels that he is somehow more important, more clever or better due to his status. Vice versa, when asking this question, he shares his status as well as the responsibility coming with it. When giving others a chance to think themselves in a leader's "shoes", then this can be useful for two reasons: it gives a good opportunity to better understand what being a leader is all about; and this way the other person can offer valuable advice as well as possibly new, useful perspectives.
Why?
Simple, punchy, and short, however extremely powerful. This works wonders in an environment where it is not seen as an accusing "court inquiry", but rather a sincere showing of interest. I am truly interested why you think that? This question touches upon our values, makes people feel important, and encourages to share.
How are we going to achieve it?
When also adding here the word together, then this amplifies the sense of unity even more. We together and going to achieve already ensure the successful outcome (motivation is sky high, right?). This way a leader makes it clear that there are no organizational success stories without the involvement of people. Amen to that!
THIS LIBERATING UNKNOWN KNOWING!
Quite a few years ago I was facing a professional dilemma. My thoughts were between "well it sort of is, and then again it also isn't". I clearly remember the day when sharing my thoughts with my mentor and expecting him to give me the "right" answers. During yet another "I-do-not-know" moan, he asked me: "Katri, why is it all important for you?". Nobody had ever asked me that. Everything became clear in a heartbeat and the following words just slipped out of my mouth: "it is my passion, mission, and true calling". In utter amazement, I repeated it in a loud voice several times - what a liberating unknown knowing!
And where am I today as a result of this very critical question? I am a happy person whose life is filled with passion; who is on a mission of making the world a better place; and who has dedicated one's professional life to one's true calling - people.
Hence, in case of asking the correct questions, maybe having nine lives would be too much? Thank God we are not cats.
Article published in Estonian under the title of "Kas uudishimu tappis kassi?" in a leadership magazine Director (April 2017).
