A GLASS OF WATER, PLEASE!
I have to be honest: I was initially toying with the idea of having a glass of wine instead of water (oi folks, I have had one hell of a week, and it's all about the right, healthy quantities, right?!), but ok...water it is...everyone drinks water. Right: imagine a glass of water in the middle of a table. Here you are (<---):
What do you see? Oh, you see a glass half full of still water? Funny, I see a glass slightly more than half full and maybe it contains the lightly sparkling water? You disagree? Well, this is how I see it and that is how you see it. We can sit here and argue until we are blue in the face or...just accept it is a matter of perspective and move on. It IS water and it IS in a glass, the rest is just...well, individual point of view.
"THIS PERSON IS..."
I remember working with someone who labelled anyone they didn't like for whatever reason a "jerk". Once I couldn't help it and had to give into my curiosity (yep, I love living dangerously!), hence asked why they called Mr X a jerk. The answer was a laconic "Well, he just is!!!". Right...I don't usually like to make assumptions, but it is highly likely that I ended up in the "jerks list" after that as well - asking the question was lethal and I got a fair share of "if looks could kill" ever since. Anyways, what I am trying to say is that it is pretty much the same as calling someone fat, ugly, stupid or whatever subjective adjective, but where is the border line? Where is the official line marking fat (mind you someone 45 kg may be also considered fat by some or should we all agree that obese starts with the medically assigned BMI?), ugly (is that specified with a certain nose shape, distance between eyes, or length of legs?), stupid (standard IQ vs emotional intelligence or a combination of both calculated on the basis of what?) ? Again - it is a matter of every individual's perspective.
"IT IS MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY!"
Chill- accepting and respecting other individual's perspective that happens to be different from yours does not necessarily mean you have to agree with it. If that's what scares you, then relax and think of it rather as an opportunity to broaden one's view via the other person's "eyes", even if it means the outcome is not for both you. And that is totally ok! However, before you announce "It is either my way or the highway!", I suggest applying the following 3 mindsets:
1. "Oh how very interesting. Why didn't/don't I see it that way?" - you might be surprised that although something may at first seem as a definite "no-no", after some consideration may come across as quite a refreshing, new point of view. Again - you still may not be in agreement with it, but you could at least embrace its difference. And, thank God, we are different - this what makes the world such an amazingly versatile place!;
2. "What does it say about this person?" - and "What does it also say about me?". This is crucial from the values perspective and learning about each other. What values we share? Where is the crossing point for finding a mutual agreement? Where is this person coming from and why do they think-feel this way? Remember - we all have different backgrounds, experiences, and characters, so be kind. Always.
3. "What is the lesson I will take with me from here?" - differences offer great growth opportunities, hence rather than looking for fights, look for valuable lessons instead. What have you learnt about yourself? Maybe you are more emphatic than you thought yourself to be? Or maybe you discovered something you would like to develop more?
CHEERS!
Back to that glass of water now - I have decided to see a glass of wine now. It is fruity, fresh, and super light - in my perspective. Here are also many other glasses of whatever you want it to be or whichever way you choose to see it. It is your perspective and that's cool - the more different perspectives, the more different solutions. The more colourful the world! Cheers to it!
What do you see? Oh, you see a glass half full of still water? Funny, I see a glass slightly more than half full and maybe it contains the lightly sparkling water? You disagree? Well, this is how I see it and that is how you see it. We can sit here and argue until we are blue in the face or...just accept it is a matter of perspective and move on. It IS water and it IS in a glass, the rest is just...well, individual point of view.
"THIS PERSON IS..."
I remember working with someone who labelled anyone they didn't like for whatever reason a "jerk". Once I couldn't help it and had to give into my curiosity (yep, I love living dangerously!), hence asked why they called Mr X a jerk. The answer was a laconic "Well, he just is!!!". Right...I don't usually like to make assumptions, but it is highly likely that I ended up in the "jerks list" after that as well - asking the question was lethal and I got a fair share of "if looks could kill" ever since. Anyways, what I am trying to say is that it is pretty much the same as calling someone fat, ugly, stupid or whatever subjective adjective, but where is the border line? Where is the official line marking fat (mind you someone 45 kg may be also considered fat by some or should we all agree that obese starts with the medically assigned BMI?), ugly (is that specified with a certain nose shape, distance between eyes, or length of legs?), stupid (standard IQ vs emotional intelligence or a combination of both calculated on the basis of what?) ? Again - it is a matter of every individual's perspective.
"IT IS MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY!"
Chill- accepting and respecting other individual's perspective that happens to be different from yours does not necessarily mean you have to agree with it. If that's what scares you, then relax and think of it rather as an opportunity to broaden one's view via the other person's "eyes", even if it means the outcome is not for both you. And that is totally ok! However, before you announce "It is either my way or the highway!", I suggest applying the following 3 mindsets:
1. "Oh how very interesting. Why didn't/don't I see it that way?" - you might be surprised that although something may at first seem as a definite "no-no", after some consideration may come across as quite a refreshing, new point of view. Again - you still may not be in agreement with it, but you could at least embrace its difference. And, thank God, we are different - this what makes the world such an amazingly versatile place!;
2. "What does it say about this person?" - and "What does it also say about me?". This is crucial from the values perspective and learning about each other. What values we share? Where is the crossing point for finding a mutual agreement? Where is this person coming from and why do they think-feel this way? Remember - we all have different backgrounds, experiences, and characters, so be kind. Always.
3. "What is the lesson I will take with me from here?" - differences offer great growth opportunities, hence rather than looking for fights, look for valuable lessons instead. What have you learnt about yourself? Maybe you are more emphatic than you thought yourself to be? Or maybe you discovered something you would like to develop more?
CHEERS!
Back to that glass of water now - I have decided to see a glass of wine now. It is fruity, fresh, and super light - in my perspective. Here are also many other glasses of whatever you want it to be or whichever way you choose to see it. It is your perspective and that's cool - the more different perspectives, the more different solutions. The more colourful the world! Cheers to it!
